She holds her legs curled up in a ball.  The dripping of water and ringing in the air like in a tomb she lets out a sob and licks her tears.  Now she wonders if she will ever wake from the nightmare?  She fears sleep.  The cage is small and the bars are rusted and damp.  The floor is cold.  A small stream of light flickers in the distance, reminiscent of a distant place she can’t imagine anymore.  In the small stream of light she stares at her bare toes, toe nails overgrown.  This small corner has become her home.  She forgets to open her eyes – because the dark has swallowed her whole.  She only rests in the quiet of her mind, comforted at the thought of no one screaming.   Some nights she ‘goes limp’ with hoping not to feel anymore.  Today there was a battle and she thought she had strength.  She wielded her sword, but found it used against her. Then she fought with the only weapon left – her bones. She flailed and ranted, she mocked and entertained, she shook and danced and the monster in fear and bewilderment disengaged. Sometimes this is the only way to make him retreat.  Only today he took a turn and pretended to be as resolute as her – to use logic and calm to blame her, to show she deserved to be in the cage, and he tightened her restraints before walking away.  She wonders why she wakes each day?  The room grows dim.. as her eyes blur and for the moment she feels held, suspended.. in the stillness where there is no ‘think’ and no ‘feel’, no her.

Posted: January 11th, 2011 under Short Story, Soliloque on Gabriel (poetic journey).
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“Know Thyself: To become self-aware requires significant effort over the long haul, but the rewards can be nothing short of astonishing. When we are self-aware, we free up energy used to suppress uncomfortable thoughts, feelings and sensations. We act with conscious knowledge of our motivations and choices, with a focus on desired outcomes. Otherwise, we are acting out of unconscious motivations and/or patterns of reactivity. The more conscious we are, the more we are able to fine-tune our interactions with others for maximum positive impact! More available energy, more personal effectiveness, more likelihood of living the life we want – ancient wisdom.”

Posted: July 31st, 2010 under my thoughts, Quoted, Science and Philosophy, Uncategorized.
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“A soul connection is a resonance between two people who respond to the essential beauty of each other’s individual natures, behind their facades, and who connect on this deeper level. This kind of mutual recognition provides the catalyst for a potent alchemy. It is a sacred alliance whose purpose is to help both partners discover and realize their deepest potentials. While a heart connection lets us appreciate those we love just as they are, a soul connection opens up a further dimension — seeing and loving them for who they could be, and for who we could become under their influence. This means recognizing that we both have an important part to play in helping each other become more fully who we are….A soul connection not only inspires us to expand, but also forces us to confront whatever stands in the way of that expansion.” (John Welwood)

“Brave”

Posted: March 31st, 2010 under my thoughts, Quoted.
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Walking across the broken chards, puzzle pieces of mirrors under my blistered defeat.  Yet, I am still breathing.

Familiar juncture, still walking from bus to train.  Finally landing in a soft silence my ear reaching out to the ringing buzz of the air as I see another ring fall down the ravine.  Even as it tumbles clinking on the bars unseen, the edges and sediment, erosion and sentiment.. like a heavy rock slipping uphill, defying gravity to slide on the occasionally slick desert floor – so this ring travels into your hands alone.  

Hands that held the world.  Hands that create, design and comfort. Melt the gold and see… what you find… the layers of us which remain in this valley over time.

Meandering in forest, mushrooms spread out on the ground to nurture recovery… myself on the ground recovering.  Love making and us upright like the thin tree as our covering, echoing like nearby dogs barking.. a rediscovery.  This azure lighting the path anew… out into the world…

it is     just      blue.

Posted: March 22nd, 2010 under my poetry, Soliloque on Gabriel (poetic journey).
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And he who gave me the shoe that fits and by midnight took it back and returned it…  he will remain my prince long after the foot  impresses the sand and tides have shattered the hour.  Long after the cinders and ash have covered the hearth..  And will linger like coals to reignite the dancing silluette, reflections that round the edges of my empty corner.

(Rochester, NY. Winter 2009)

Posted: August 23rd, 2009 under my poetry.
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