“no think and no feel”
She holds her legs curled up in a ball. The dripping of water and ringing in the air like in a tomb she lets out a sob and licks her tears. Now she wonders if she will ever wake from the nightmare? She fears sleep. The cage is small and the bars are rusted and damp. The floor is cold. A small stream of light flickers in the distance, reminiscent of a distant place she can’t imagine anymore. In the small stream of light she stares at her bare toes, toe nails overgrown. This small corner has become her home. She forgets to open her eyes – because the dark has swallowed her whole. She only rests in the quiet of her mind, comforted at the thought of no one screaming. Some nights she ‘goes limp’ with hoping not to feel anymore. Today there was a battle and she thought she had strength. She wielded her sword, but found it used against her. Then she fought with the only weapon left – her bones. She flailed and ranted, she mocked and entertained, she shook and danced and the monster in fear and bewilderment disengaged. Sometimes this is the only way to make him retreat. Only today he took a turn and pretended to be as resolute as her – to use logic and calm to blame her, to show she deserved to be in the cage, and he tightened her restraints before walking away. She wonders why she wakes each day? The room grows dim.. as her eyes blur and for the moment she feels held, suspended.. in the stillness where there is no ‘think’ and no ‘feel’, no her.
Posted: January 11th, 2011 under Short Story, Soliloque on Gabriel (poetic journey).
Comments: none
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