“Do we sabotage the faith that gives wings to our leap?”   ”A field of scattered thumb tack holes.” 

Posted: February 29th, 2008 under my poetry.
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February 22, 2008

A BIG HUG AND HELLO!

I landed in NY safely a week ago. After much preparation,sleepless nights in combination with the time change, I was prettywiped out. It took a few foggy head days to acclimate. Of courseI arrived on Valentine’s Day. I went to my favorite NY restaurant”Mundo” (Turkish/Argentinian)– saw my friend sing sultry songs forlovers, and got treated to an amazing meal and cooked chocolatemouse with the house staff.

On Friday I went to the After Party club, at the Lorrie Beechman theater, a piano/cabaret bar, open mic for musical theater singers. Broadway actors come to sing, hang out and in a low key way – promote their show. So its somewhat performing for your peers (amateurs and professionals mixed) The night I went I just went to observe (next time I’ll get up and sing). The cast of Lion King was there. This drag queen Kitty who was his ‘boy self’ that night, sang the “Circle of Life” as a tongue and cheek spoof.. A skinny white guy sort of pretending he was a big black woman. He had a great voice and was hilarious!  Saturday night I spent the evening with some Broadway actor friendsof Jason & Raina (my former Bay Area buddies that I’m staying with). Their friends were house sitting at Gary Beech’s place, atony award winning actor - who is touring as King Arthur inSpamalot. We hung out and watched movies with his female blackpoodle -Charlie . One of the guys was in another production of”On The Twentieth Century” (which I was in at AMT, San Jose) withJudy Blazer playing the lead. She was wonderful to work with, an amazing talent. It turns out the role I had played in ourproduction - in his was played by Kathleen Turner.I have been getting to know the subway, the city lay out and howauditions work. Its all pretty crazy. I get up at the crack of dawn, get on the subway, and get to an audition where I get inline to sign up on a list to hopefully be seen hours later. ThenI go to another one across town, then back to the first one to seeif my name was called, then back to the first or a third orfourth. I am awaiting my official actor’s union card – and until thatpoint I fall between union and non-union. I get some privileges and not others. You can wait for 6 hours and not get seen. That is why actors are great at knitting!! Sometimes its all a matter of timing – a gamble which one to go to when and then if they have a great monitor – you have a better chance of getting seen. What a crazy business!

There are lots of little things I’m getting used to – like howto have everything you need, including a packed lunch, auditionclothes/binder, etc.. efficiently packed with you – since youtravel on foot and subway into the city (away from where you liveusually). Can’t forget anything! I need to get a cart for groceryshopping. Organic/wholesome foods are a train ride away (30min. each way.I have put so many miles on my poor feet just in the last week! Lotsand lots and lots of people, all on the move. Beggars doing their speeches on trains, performers in train stations, subway life like flyingthrough space. Layers and layers of clothing and gear to keep warm,undressing and redressing at auditions.I saw an off Broadway show called, Blue Flower, set in Germany &France during the WWI AND WII years. It focused on four artistfriends who dealt with their own journeys amidst the war machine of Nazi German. The music was beautiful, and the show moving. You saw these very real people in relation to the bigger events, how theyparticipated or opposed it, commentedwith their art or didn’t. And how they loved and lived their own livesamidst it all. I couldn’t help but think some of that is happening rightnow here in this country.Yesterday reality hit me and now I’m in pursuit of jobs and sublets. There are some teaching and nanny possibilities. Ofcourse its very stressful until things are rolling.

Last night I watched the moon eclipse. And then it snowed. Iwatched the magical flakes dance through the night air, catchingthe light of the street lamp.I am currently on a 6 hour train to Rochester, NY to visit with anold Peace Child friend and see his film premiere. This ride is lovely – traveling past snow covered hills and trees and followingthe icy Hudson River. I am working on a screenplay for PeaceChild. I’ve always loved trains. When I was about seven myfamily and I went across the country on four trains, I think. It was memorable. Through the ‘hot states’ the air conditioning had broke and I was playing chess or checkers and would take a turn – then run back to the car which sold coke – back and forth even after they ran out ofice. We built a fort around our seats. When I was first born my folkstook me on a train to northern U.S. or Canada? I have to check with mom about that. Supposedly I screamed the entire ride. Mom says I was developing my vocal chords! Funny, I wonder if that’s why I love trains. Its going back to birth. Well, that’s quite a enough for now!I think of all whom I love and even as I make my path through theunknown – I feel your love and support. Till next time.–Deborah

Posted: February 25th, 2008 under NY Chronicles.
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Beginnings and endings and everything that takes place in between all come together at the same intersection. The active journey, the ACT OF JOURNEY.All collide in arrival and departure and flight.I am pursuing my destiny, my dreams.  I’ve been preparing for some time and now — I’m no my way to JFK.  New York city.Valentine’s Day 2008Filled with hope and excitement from within myself and from the wellspring of those who infuse my life - those who believe in me and the act of journey.I seek only the prize of growth and experience and innerconnections with the lovely human forms.What is life about more than following this bliss.Many shared words, eyes in eyes, a coin, Queenie’s hair, all the support of family and friends - I feel blessed, loved.  And the yeast and sugar are co-mingling, conspiring such a loaf of bread to rise!!This earth is so beautiful and I think of all my relations.  I feel what I’m doing is not just from me, my motives, but an extension of so many other hearts.  All the little ones are in this too.  My mom was so sweet when dropping me off, dad too.  Brennan, Jeremy, Colin and Zhenya, Cy, Maui, Jen, Jamie, Raina, Hannah & Family, Malia, Diana, Nejat & Family. I really hope that the one that’s part of my soul - the part of me I left behind finds his way - toward the light, towards mental health and healing.  That’s where his happiness lies.   The universe will take care of everything and all.  ”YOUR LIFE IS AN OCCASION - RISE TO IT!”Up, up and away!! 

Posted: February 14th, 2008 under Uncategorized, my thoughts.
Comments: 1