LIFE MIRRORS ART - MIRRORS LIFE. What am I holding on to?  Is it the role I’ve been playing in life? Or the one that emulates it on stage?  I have been trotting along — at a good pace, moving forward, totally engaged in my own momentum to ‘get shit done’ and tie loose ends and ride the waves of creative surges.  Preparing myself to plunge into the uknown in a graceful flourish - ‘here i go!!’  To fly away on Valentine’s Day, begin my quest for a new life, for love.   But then,  something hooks me and I remain open for something — down the line, to repeat?  Am I not finished with these loops in my life? What is it that I have not learned?  If I am not aware I will repeat my patterns no matter where I am and who I’m with. You keep repeating patterns if you don’t grow beyond them.  So, what draws me back in…?  Even if its just a theatrical rendition of my life — why do it?  Will it be different once I am different –  is it catharsis or part of the growth or can I bring to it the truth that lives in me from having lived that role?  And in playing that part — will I then be drawn to re-live it? 

Posted: January 28th, 2008 under my thoughts.
Comments: 1

Winter 2008 Letting Go.  Battles and Triumphs.  The Holidays were about family and friends..  Then I struggled with Tonsilitis.  Next I faced dark forces at one of my jobs. But in the face of that - discovered solidarity amongst my peers - it was frightening, exhilarating and empowering all at the same time.   My best friend’s father passed away and I sang as thoughts of him were cast upon the bay.  Two other friends lost a parent each.. and my battle was yet to come.    This last Sunday, my dog Queenie (17 yrs old), a beautiful husky/australian shepard mix - started to seizure.  Thursday -my ex Victor, his girlfriend Jena and myself had to put her down.  It was one of the hardest days of my life.  She was an intricate part of my soul.  I miss her every day.  I hope she has begun a new life in some other way.  I love her very much. (There is a photo of her in my gallery).  Death dances around and between us letting us know this life is fragile and precious.  I am happy to have connected with all beings in my life.. and to be able to create music.  Recently I’ve been collaborating with my bro Brennan.  And in two weeks I jet off to N.Y. to create my destiny.  Endings and beginnings, all beautiful and frayed, delicate and resilient, simple and complex, and dear to my heart.  The heart breaks, the tears fall and the heart beats again - stronger.

Posted: January 28th, 2008 under my thoughts.
Comments: none